Dear Ben and Jerry,
I'm a good liberal. I support equal rights, believe my taxes are going to help those that can't help themselves (and am fine with that part of it), am Pro-choice, and anti-war. I support stem-cell research, and even hope that Tony Snow is doing OK even though I think his head is so far up his own ass that he's become his own prostate.
I recycle, I walk when I can, I do my best to live a good liberal life.
One major component to my "liberal life" is that I watch The Daily Show and Colbert Report religiously. While I don't think Stewart's the most liberal guy, Colbert certainly seems like he's one of the good guys, fighting the fight that needs fighting, and making the right look ridiculous at the same time.
I adore Colbert, and when I found out you guys had created "Americone Dream", I was so excited I nearly passed out.
However, when I got down to the grocery store here in Iowa City, all I noticed was the new Peach Willie Nelson flavor. While I like Willie all right and am a good peach-loving Southerner by birth, it's not what I was looking for.
So far, it has been over a month since the release of the flavor and I have yet to see it in any Iowa City establishment. On top of that, your "Flavor Locator" says that "2007 Flavors Coming Soon!" Ben and Jerry: it's almost April of 2007. Get on the ball.
And that's the general sentiment of this letter: my wife and I need some "Americone Dream"!
Things aren't going so well, Ben and Jerry. My wife and I are stressed beyond normal means. Money's tight (though we'd gladly fork over for your "AD") and, as my blog is jammed full of, I can't manage to force my life in a desirable direction.
What keeps us going is the belief that some good will come. Maybe not the "American Dream", but a hope that with hard work, we'll make forward and do something positive with our lives, and even be able to help others out along the way.
I know it's not much, but when I sit down to enjoy a pint of your ice cream, I forget everything for a little while and just feel happy because my taste buds are happy. The anticipation for "Americone Dream" has driven us out of the house many times, hoping that this time when we open the grocery store's freezer doors, we'll see Stephen Colbert pointing back at us.
But that day isn't coming, Ben and Jerry. We're out here, fighting the good fight, fighting for the ideals that you guys, my wife, and I believe in, and we're doing it without one of the few things that seems like it could make the day a little bit brighter.
I know you guys aren't going to read this, but if I get my TrueMajority.org frisbee with the budgetary pie chart before I get the ice cream, a little part of me will die. Things by mail should take forever.
The ice cream should have been here weeks ago.
Iowa City, IA